We often have an image of our ideal self. The image is most likely you in your 20’s, but with the wisdom and success of yourself at 90. This image is a harmful illusion! It gives your subconsicious mind a target that is far too different from who you are right now. This creates an unrealistic gap that becomes a barrier to you acheiving your dreams. This is an illusion of perfection.
This perfect self image is a ruler to which you compare yourself. You criticize and beat yourself up for not being this perfect version of you. What if I told you that you are your perfect version of you right now? You are whole and complete right now. Please go get a mirror and look yourself in the eye and say, “I love you right now. Who you are right now is perfect.” See how you feel and what comes up when you say this. Repeat it, out loud while maintaining eye contact, as many times as you need until it feels true.
This was most likely more difficult and deeper an experience than you thought it would be. What can we take away from this message? That you are perfectly you…right now! The life you have built around you are the results of choices and actions you have made over time. You have most likely made lesser choices than you deserve because on some level you are punishing yourself for not being the ‘perfect you’ that does not exist, and is only and illusion. You have settled for less than you deserve over, and over again.
It is time to leave this faulty thinking behind you! Instead of trying to fill a gap between who you are and who you think you want to be, begin to expand on the goodness that you have right now. Begin to see the blessings around you and think of ways to build them into even greater bigger blessings. You will be surprised at the momentum that gratitude can build. Your entire being will be energized and rejuvenated when you focus on your blessings. Begin by writing down a few things you like about yourself. Add a few things that you like about your life. Next think about what you can do to make them even better.
Think you are attractive? What can make you even more attractive? Perhaps taking more pride in your outfits. You could clean your shoes, press a few shirts, buy some new pieces or accessories to make an existing outfit pop. Maybe it’s time for a new hairstyle or fresh new cut and shave. Perhaps add a new perfume or new grooming products, whiten your teeth, or get some sun. Maybe you can work on your posture, begin to smile more, walk with a new pep. Maybe it’s time to start doing push ups, or planks, or increase your physical activity. Join a gym or spa.
Think you are smart? Maybe it’s time to learn a little. Travel and learn about food, drinks, culture, literature, art. Learn something new, a language or skill like cooking, computer, gardening, public speaking. Learn a hobby like painting, drawing, sewing, crochet, wood working, glass blowing, boating, kayaking, biking. Anything new will expand your knowledge and help you to grow new synapses and keep your brain sharp.
Are you a great cook? Learn some new recipes. Cook meals for people you love. Have a dinner party, or host a tea.
Like your home? Get it clean and organized. When your room is tidy it makes a tremendous difference in your body.
Feeling lucky to have wonderful people in your life? Do something for them, and others. Buy and mail a card, make a phone call, visit, buy a gift, bring them food. Spend time with the people in your life.
Wish you had more people in your life? Begin to volunteer and do for others. As you gift your energy to others, you will be blessed in return.
There are countless ways to increase your experience of your life right now. Love yourself as you are right now, and gift yourself with compassion and understanding. Be patient and kind to yourself. It is ok if you have made mistakes, bad decisions, and disappointed yourself in the past. You did the best you could with what you had at the time. You learned. Now you will do better! You will love yourself, make yourself comfortable and proud. You will relax, and not take yourself so seriously. You will find the joy in your everyday.
Wake up each day and take it as an isolated opportunity to do whatever you want from the moment you wake up until you go to sleep. Do not worry about tomorrow, as tomorrow never comes. It is always today. Focus on today. What can you do today to experience more joy? What can you do today to respect yourself right now? What actions can you take today that will bring you to a place where you will lay your head on your pillow tonight feeling satisfied and proud of yourself? Put love into action and do those things today!
“Forever is composed of nows” – EMILY DICKINSON